i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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