Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
