Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
