The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
