Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
