If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize