i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
