Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
