In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
