like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize