She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
