The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
