i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
