I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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