batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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