she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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