i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
