ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
