I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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