Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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