we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Terrible idea I love it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
