well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
