dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
