i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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