I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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