my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
