Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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