I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
