i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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