It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
