is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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