office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
