Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize