No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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