We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
