ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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