What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
