I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
