I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
