Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
