We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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