Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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