i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
