Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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