Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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