hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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