I must be too annoying 4 u.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
