My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
