Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
