it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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