Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
