i just google imaged poop.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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