I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize