If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
