I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
