Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
