Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
