hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize