It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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