Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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