What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
