Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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