I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Someone signed my nipple.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
