I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
