windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
