she was so not down for the gang bang
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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