census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
